Sunday, January 4, 2015

Totem Soup Thoughts - Mentally Dry and Down

The sandwich shop at the end of the desert.

Life is like crossing a desert only to find a sandwich shop with another desert immediately after it. It seems to me it's a lifetime of trudging only to get a snack and a sip of water only to continue trudging on. The only ones who have it good, own the sandwich shops.

Be warned I will be dropping an "A" word that causes undue discomfort, but read on, I don't dive into it. I started my life as a Lutheran, but now see absolutely no evidence in any god. It's harder to become an atheist, than to be raised as one. No matter what you do, dogma remains in the darkest corners of your self and perceptions of the world. I find myself struggling for a meaning of it all. I have been a sickly specimen most of my life, but I hide it well with my outward appearance.  Slap on a smile and make someone laugh...it has served me well for years. I am finding it harder to crack a smile or a joke as of late. Masking pain and getting older is taking its toll.

I find the general disconnect between people to be disturbing. It was different when I was younger. I'm only 32, but the change between then and now is observable in a big way in my generation. Less hello's, more anger and boredom. This self serving, single serving, fast food culture is hollow. The sandwich shop is becoming less and less satisfying.

I have started making an effort to be friendlier and pay it forward when I can afford to. Paying for someone's fast food order and striking up conversation is rewarding. Unfortunately conversation is met with strange stares and standoff behavior generally, where when I was younger it was more socially acceptable.

Social media is now the tie that binds society and a face to face conversation is tldr (too long didn't read) in essence. This behavior is breaking what makes us human. Physical touch and intimate conversation has been replaced by 2 minute videos and 140 character blurbs. How many people would fall apart if all forms of social media vanished over night? I would be willing to bet a good portion.

The reason I don't set a schedule for blogging or posting on social media like most is exactly why I decided to sit down and write this. Let life come as it comes. Talk to a stranger. Pay for a random persons meal. Kindness comes in circles. Even if it doesn't come back to you immediately, the feeling that comes to your most human side is rewarding.  Don't be a disconnected connection.

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That's it for now!
- The one, The ONLY, Holytotemic


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